However, with that said I have a rant about cars and their designers.
Why the fuck are people obsessed with designing cars for use on public roads that can go 200+ miles an hour. YOU CAN'T FUCKING DRIVE THAT FAST ON A PUBLIC ROAD. Unless you like having videos of you narrated by Sheriff John Bunnell and sharing small gaol cells with hairy guys called Bubba.
Honestly, a car whose main features are a top speed of 250mph and an 800bhp engine is absolutely completely fucking useless to me. I don't care how well the chassis is balanced or how well the power is transferred to the road because I couldn't care less about that when I'm driving to work on roads where speed is limited to 45mph and there's a set of traffic lights every 200 yards.
Here are the things (in no partcular order) that are actually useful in cars for the 99% of the small percentage of the worlds total population that can even afford to own a car:
- Interior space
- Internal safety
- External safety
- Fuel economy
- Good all round visibility
- Reliability in every aspect of the car
- Low purchase price
- Vehicle handling
- Comfort
- Extras like OnStar and GPS
- Power when needed - for emergency situations or towing, for example
- Longevity
- A fuel source with waste products that don't slowly kill me and little baby rabbits
The ability to go from 0 to 60 in less time than it takes to say "What the fuck is that guy compensating for?" is utterly useless on a public road except in emergencies - and even then a top speed just shy of that of the X-15 is not exactly going to benefit anybody but Chuck Yeager or Automan.
And who exactly can afford a car that costs $250,000? Twatting sports stars and people who pretend to be other people for a living. Let's face it - unless you like living in debt for most of your life the average person can't really afford a car that costs more than $10,000, and the ones that cost less than this are basically just grown up equivalents of those little pedal cars you buy for 3 year olds or they're being held together by the power of positive thinking. Sure I have a choice when buying a car - I can sell a kidney or I can drive around in a powered Fisher Price toy.
Why oh why do car manufacturers spend so much time and resources designing cars that less than half a percent of the world's population can actually buy? I tell you what - stop charging so much for the shit entry level saloon model so you can afford to research new materials for the latest lightweight dick extension for Greedy McFatCat and instead direct your resources to something worthwhile and I guarantee you that your business will do just as well if not better - more people will be able to buy your cheaper cars and they will want to do so because they might finally be half decent.
I want a car that is safe for me to drive - that protects the occupants from harm in a crash and that helps reduce the injuries to any pedestrian that may be hit in an accident.
I want a car that uses fuel that doesn't produce harmful waste products and that doesn't need to be refilled whenever I go down to the shops.
I want a car that tells the emergency services when I've been in an accident and exactly where that accident is.
I want a car that helps prevent accidents by monitoring how alert I am and taking over if I fall asleep at the wheel.
I want a car that prevents me from driving like a moron and endangering other road users (boy would that be unpopular in the US). I know this may be a surprise to some but driving badly is not a right or freedom.
I want a car I can afford.
I want a car that starts because it should, not because the planets are aligned correctly or the day begins with the letter T.
Maybe if car manufacturers stopped wasting time on the worthless shit, this wouldn't be so hard to come by.
My two pence worth of advice for the automobile industry:
Stop making engines BIGGER, try making them BETTER.
Stop making cars FASTER, try making them SAFER.
Stop making the best models more EXPENSIVE, try making the decent ones CHEAPER.
Perhaps then you might not need the taxpayer to keep bailing you out of trouble since the car might then be something people want and can afford rather than something they need but can't.
Oh please
And for the people who may inevitably respond "Well they can/are doing both so you're just upset you can't afford the fancy cars."
Fuck off.
How far has the car industry really come in 100 years? So how is that business model doing at improving cars and making them more affordable globally, exactly?
100 years and we're still looking at average mpgs in the 20s. 100 years and we still have unreliable and unsafe cars. 100 years and we still don't have decent entry level models that most people can afford.
Oh yeah, the automobile industry is really pushing the boundaries of possibility.
No. Sorry, my mistake. What I meant to say is that the automobile industry is still catering to a tiny group of men with small penises who think going fast and having a big bonnet makes them important. 100 years and they still don't get it.
As someone who has recently switched from a BMW 5 series (premature midlife crisis) to a Hyundai, I can completely agree with you. The Hyundai is inexpensive, economical, reliable, good looking, safe, useful, more environmentally responsible and I am delighted.
ReplyDeleteHmm, well it's generally not like that in the UK. Due to ridiculous petrol prices we actually get cars that are more and more economical every year, hell even F1 teams are creating more and more economical engines these days and that technology passes down to your regular Fiesta or Corsa eventually. Mid-20s MPG would be classed as rather crap here. In fact some of the technologies you're on about are starting to come about like being able to detect when you're drifting off and drifting over lines etc.
ReplyDeleteThere will always be a place for super cars and high end cars. They're not for everyone, they make no claims to be. Contrary to your small dicks statement, not all cars are bought to compensate, some of us actually enjoy driving you know ;) A 1.0L Fiat Punto really isn't much fun to drive if you're driving for fun.
If you wanna go fast you go to the track it's as simple as that really.
I know it's different over there and maybe they'll catch on at some point and realise that your average saloon doesn't need a 400bhp V8.
Paul:
ReplyDeleteOh it is definitely very different in the UK!
As I was writing this I did think you might not be to impressed actually, but I definitely wasn't thinking of someone like you or your RX7 when I wrote this, you're not even remotely linked to some of the tossers I see here with insane cars!
Oil prices are certainly part of the driving factor, but I still don't think that explains the way the industry has and is operating here - it is also partly the American obsession with BIG and also a failure of foresight - no-one considered that oil might run out so why not use tons of it? Regardless, you can turn on the telly here and see car adverts that are actually bragging about how they get 22 mpg now. My 1996 Mini City, that came without a radio and was a 50 year old design, had a mpg of about 30!
It is unbelievably fucked up. Have you seen the size of a Chevy Suburban!
not all cars are bought to compensate, some of us actually enjoy driving you know ;)
Point taken, and I was defintely piling on the unreasonable because it was a rant, but I would also argue that a car doesn't have to be horrendously fast and ridiculously powerful to be fun to drive - my Mini is still the car I have enjoyed driving the most and that was only 1000cc!
My own opinion is that sensible or family cars don't have to be the automotive equivalent of the way everyone's dad dresses - that they are is a failure of imagination on the part of the designers. That designers here think taking a spectacularly awful car and putting an enormous engine in it suddenly makes it awesome is one of the problems I was ranting about!
If you wanna go fast you go to the track it's as simple as that really.
True - but how many people who buy supercars go anywhere near them, or have the skill too? You would not believe the state of driving standards here yet the roads are packed with powerful cars, trucks and SUVs driven by people with no idea how to really handle them adequately, nevermind safely.
I know it's different over there and maybe they'll catch on at some point and realise that your average saloon doesn't need a 400bhp V8.
Oh holy cow I hope so!
But my main point was that the approach the American car industry has had, and is still perpetuating, is retarding the development of cars not enhancing it - compare the advances in the aircraft industry to those in the automobile industry over the last 50 years, for example - and the automobile industry has been at it a lot longer. Car development has been painfully slow because the approach has been focused on the wrong things - namely men who think faster and stronger makes a car automatically better.
The US automobile industry has essentially been saying "Fuck you, we know best. More power." for the last 80 years.
Points taken :)
ReplyDeleteI like my 1.3L rotary but having been driven round Donington in my mates 1.6L MX-5 they're ridiculously fun!
Well going the track isn't about skill, it's about driving your car safely but without the limits of the road. Most have beginner/intermediate and advanced sessions each hour so you mix with your own experience level. Although I do remember one twat at the advanced briefing saying he thought cars with less than 300bhp shouldn't be allowed in the advanced part....prick.
But you're right about SUVs etc, they're always driven by mums picking up their kids! Why do they need such great hulking pieces of metal?
I still want a HUD in my car :)
One day we'll get there but it'll be Europe and Japan first, possibly even China. I think the US just doesn't seem to get the need for cars to be low emission, efficient and safe. Hell, after watching Pimp My Ride, all the cars that get pimped on there wouldn't be allowed on the streets over here!
Holy crap, you guys get a ton of American TV over there. I just hope you aren't force-fed the same sitcoms we are here; they're all terrible.
ReplyDeleteBut you got even with Simon Cowell :)
Every single time I see a Cadillac Escalade or a Lexus SUV, I think "is that really necessary?"
Paul:
ReplyDeleteSee, your RX7 has an even smaller engine than I thought even when I wasn't including it on my mental list of silly cars!
One day we'll get there but it'll be Europe and Japan first, possibly even China. I think the US just doesn't seem to get the need for cars to be low emission, efficient and safe. Hell, after watching Pimp My Ride, all the cars that get pimped on there wouldn't be allowed on the streets over here!
And that's basically my point rolled up without the snark and swearing!
Ryan:
Oh yes, all the sitcoms.
Every single time I see a Cadillac Escalade or a Lexus SUV, I think "is that really necessary?"
My thoughts exactly. And boy there's plenty of them here in Colorado.
In fact, I was having this conversation with some mates at work the other day and one managed to prove my point for me. The only good thing he could say about the Corvette he had driven was how fast it was - nothing about it but the speed. Since you can only do 75 here and even then not on every bit of highway, and since he wasn't going on the track - what's the bloody point?
Here in Germany, of course, you can drive as fast as you like on the Autobahn. But I don't think that's what drives some people to own a Porsche.
ReplyDeletePorsche driver abducts child after dandelion attack
Wow.
ReplyDeleteWhat a tool. Very dangerous those Dandelions.
Everytime I hear the words 'Soccer Mom' my soul, or its close approximation, shrivels away and dies a little bit more.
ReplyDeleteI am ashamed to say I quite like my ridiculously underpowered SUV. I would really rather something more eco-friendly and economical, but considering the fact I am surrounded by bad drivers in big cars with their i-phones and clear lack of attention...I am happy to peddle along in the slow lane in a larger cage of metal.
Big things have to change to change the attitude in America. I am not sure where that begins. Even when gas prices were inhibiting, people didn’t (or couldn’t) abandon their big, over powered rams and F-trucks.
I agree with Jimmy Blue. Besides the dangerous nature of dandelions, I am ready for a different automotive possibility.
When my 3yo. picks up rubbish and comments on how 'naughty' people are who litter, I do have some hope; but I wonder what eye opening event will get my neighbour to change.
Perhaps the answer lies with dandelions?