Sylvia Browne's 2010 predictions

Back from a couple of weeks off hanging with my folks I thought I would start off with a nice juicy topic - tearing Sylvia Browne's 2010 predictions into little tiny pieces. Alright, it wouldn't be that juicy since it would be easier than breathing, but it would have been fun.

Of course I soon stumbled into a problem with this - you can't actually read Browne's 2010 predictions in full unless you are a member of her inner circle. And I'll be fucked with a rusty Buick before I give that charlatan any money, even if it is just so I can have the pleasure of showing her to be the useless fraud that she is.


Anyway, you can view her 2009 predictions over on that link and you'll see  a few categories of prediction:

• the repeated stating of the bleeding obvious
• the likely to happen but didn't
• the flat out hopelessly wrong but you could have taken a wild stab at it happening at some point

The simple fact is that her predictions are anything but startling or indicative of something supernatural or psychic happening. Instead, Browne's predictions are pathetically obvious as nothing but hopeful guesses and stating stuff that would be clear to a worm living in a cave at the bottom of the sea.

Go ahead, read the list - most are just flat out wrong and the ones that are right or come close to being right were basically obvious anyway. In fact, looking at the list it is hard to see any predictions she could claim to have been right about without being very generous to her.

Anyway, it is possible to find some details of predictions that Browne makes for 2010 online - no great details and clearly abridged versions of whatever she is hiding from the general public and just for her inner circle (and I am sure hiding the predictions has nothing to do with her then being able to re-write them after the fact this time round).

So, I will take a look at what I can find for her 2010 predictions. What I was really interested in was whether or not Browne was going to claim that she had predicted the Haiti earthquake, the Gulf of Mexico oil spill and the Eyjafjallajöekull volcano eruptions. Because, and let's be frank, any predictions claimed for 2010 would be as worthless as one of my pubic hairs if they didn't mention these events, wouldn't they?

Browne's 2010 predictions

First I found some details she wrote back in 2008, here.

She writes:

Around 2009 to 2010, I predict Americans will start working on what I like to call our "buts."

A lesser man than me would make some crack about obesity in the USA based on a play on words now, but I won't. I'm above that sort of thing. I don't think there is much to a prediction that American's are going to be working on their butts though.

Damn.

Browne then lists some problems that most societys face - poverty, injustice and corruption. She then 'predicts' that the US will:

develop strong resolve and resources to address these problems and come up with some good solutions.

Oh well. She isn't very good at this is she?
 
But then she gets more specific:
 

I predict a great rise in skin cancer in children until 2010.

Wow, it doesn't get more specific than that does it? And that should be easily verifiable shouldn't it? Of course, even back in 2008 everyone was aware that skin cancer rates were increasing dramatically and that children were at great risk. So this is less of a prediction and more of a re-stating of what everyone knew anyway. If everyone knows it is already happening, it really isn't a prediction Sylvia. Unfortunately the CDC figures I found for skin cancer rates only went up to 2006 so I can't verify accurately whether or not Browne's "prediction" was born out by the figures. I would be surprised if the figures didn't show a rise in skin cancer in children since that has been the trend for some time - but Browne actually said a "great rise" so you also have to question what precisely she means by this. Does she mean a rise that would be over the expected one given the trends? What does "great" mean in this case?

And Browne wouldn't be a fraudulent psychic if she didn't give herself an out from a specific prediction, would she? So she goes on to say:

Then again, people could pay attention - and reverse this prediction right out from under me.

So, in other words, if the "predicted" rise in skin cancer rates in children is born out Browne will claim she predicted it, but if it isn't she will say she predicted that to - so this prediction can never be wrong! How typically convenient.

I predict that it will rain sometime in the next week. But of course it might not. There, psychic prediction 101 for ya. I can claim I was right either way and I can't be wrong.

I predict the President elected sometime between 2008 and 2020 will die in office from a heart attack.

And from the specific to the apparently specfic but not really. Sure it is specific to pick the President as the victim of a heart attack, but if this was written when it looked like McCain might still win, not exactly a shot in the dark is it? Everyone was worried he might pop his clogs while in office - that's why Palin was so terrifying. High stress job and heart attack sometime in a 12 year period. No, not impressed. But we'll be watching Sylvia.

The Vice President who will finish their term will have an unpopular and mistaken intention to declare war on North Korea. By that time, North Korea will have weapons of mass destruction. In the middle of efforts to declare war, I predict the Vice President will be assassinated.

And this just sounds like the plot of a Tom Clancy novel. Of course, since this could happen any time in the next ten years I'm sure Browne's intention was that people when they read this were impressed by how specific it was but once 2021 comes round and none of this happened no one will remember it anyway and her reputation marches on undamaged.
 
That's another key to psychic predictions - make them so far in the future everyone forgets what you said so it doesn't matter if you were wrong.
 
Continuing with the Clancy plot Browne says there will be an investigation into the Vice Presidents death (no, really? What a surprise.) and that there will be surprises (gosh, astounding). And there will be accusations of the misuse of funds in politics? Surely not?
 

I predict we can truly say "goodbye" to the common cold in 2009 or 2010.

 
Oh dear, almost three quarters of the way through this prediction and not even close to having an end in sight for the common cold. And why is goodbye in quotes? Sure you can't literally say goodbye to the common cold, but does she mean it will be gone by the end of this year or not? Or are the quotes her get out clause - so she can say she didn't really mean the common cold would be gone? We'll be watching Sylvia. She goes on:

The solution to the common cold involves heat.

Oh good grief - cold must be cured by heat in the simpletons mind - what century are we in? Idiot.

Keep in mind that the body's first response when we develop a cold is to come down with a fever. Many doctors today no longer rush to push patients to take temperature reducing medications when they come down with a fever, unless the fever is dangerous.

OK. One, she isn't correct with her first statement, two she is merely stating the obvious as if it backs up her case, classic woo.

So as the immune system fights a cold with heat, the cure for the common cold certainly may lie in this first signal to heal.

Wow, you mean the clue to fighting the common cold may be in how the body fights the common cold? Nothing gets past this girl. Genius. I'm convinced.

I predict that a small cubicle will become available in doctor's offices sometime in 2009 and it will be heated to a very precise temperature. There may be a special vapor placed into the cubicle. Patients will stand in the cubicle for approximately five minutes and the rhinitis germ will be destroyed.

And a fail. Thanks for playing. Nothing of the sort happened in 2009.

But the fail doesn't end there, and brace yourself for this because I am sure that it will be a huge surprise that Browne is so far off the mark she isn't even in this reality:

The common cold is not usually associated with a fever.

But don't take my word for it.

Money quote:

Usually there is no fever -- in fact, fever and more severe symptoms may indicate that you have the flu and not a cold.

Epic fail Sylvia. Just epic.

The cubicle will become available in 2009 or 2010.

Wait, I thought it was 2009 that the cubicle would become available? Perhaps she was afraid she had been to specific, push the date back and suddenly we are into the realms of people forgetting what she said again. What a surprise.

I predict hypnotic past-life regression will become available through a group of trained psychologists on both the east and west coasts of the U.S.A. in 2009. It will prove to be quite a success and will be widely practiced by 2011.

And this one is a mess isn't it? Past life regression is of course "available" (in the sense that it isn't real but some people pretend to do it), but usually from woos and quacks. No doubt some trained psychologists may even use it or believe in it. And to predict it will be available on both coasts allows her to extend her claim to basically anywhere in the continental United States, very convenient. So this prediction amounts to past life regression will be used by some trained psychologists somewhere in the US between 2009 and 2011 and it will be widely practised. No signs of that last happening yet thankfully.

So, not very impressive so far. But there are more up to date predictions available to. Browne has a YouTube video up that includes a couple of vague 2010 predictions as well. That voice is still scary.

Anyway, what does she predict in this video? Well, not much. First thing I had to laugh at was her stating how hard the last couple of years have been for everyone. Really? Because it doesn't look like she has been suffering that much to me. She is really going to compare herself to someone living hand to mouth in Detroit? Fuck off.

But the predictions, which the video claims were written in November 2009:

President Obama is doing a good job, and we will see when the dust settles, health care will be better for everyone.

Wow. Earth shattering. Who would have been able to predict at the height of the healthcare debate that health care was going to change for everyone? Certainly not me. Go Sylvia. "Everyone is going to be under some kind of really good health care." Gosh, it is almost like she read the bill that said everyone needed to be under some kind of health care. "Really good" would certainly be open to question no doubt. Why is it that rich people assume everyone gets the same health care they do?

Weather is going to be more unpredictable than it has in 25 years.

Weather, unpredictable? What, really? Well I never. And you'd have to ask, does she mean weather or does she mean climate? Of course it is hardly news that weather might be getting more unpredictable since scientists have been saying that global warming will change weather patterns for a while. Nothing earth shattering here.

She also says that this unpredictable weather has to do with the polar tilt. She doesn't say what she means by this of course. And of course we already know what effect polar tilt has on weather - and it ain't changing anytime soon. No doubt she threw this in so she could sound all 'sciency'.

And oh phew - Sylvia says we don't have to worry about 2012. That's a relief, because that had been a real nail biter for me. Then Browne makes some comment about the Maya running out of ink, that's it. Not quite sure why the Maya running out of ink would be relevant since we know they also used inscription on tablets of stone. Idiot. Apparently Browne and her cohorts can't even use something simple like Wikipedia to find out about the Mesoamerican Long Count Calendar, Mayan Calendar, or Mayan Script.

Good grief.

Then she throws in some Bible quotes about no-one being able to predict the end of the world. Then she says we aren't going to have the end of the world. Then she says the Bible says the end of the world will come like a thief in the night.

I'm not an expert, but I am pretty sure that somewhere in all that you may, just may, find some contradictions.

"It won't be someone that has written something from thousands of years ago" says Browne. She even includes Nostradamus in this. Again, I'm no expert, but when was the Bible written by someone?

Of course, it is interesting that Browne brings up Bible quotes in relation to predictions, given what the Bible says about people who make predictions. About people who claim to be mediums. After all in Deuteronomy 18:9-12 we find:

When you enter the land the LORD your God is giving you, do not learn to imitate the detestable ways of the nations there. Let no one be found among you who sacrifices his son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts spells, or who is a medium or  spiritist, or who consults the dead. Anyone who does these things is detestable to the LORD...

I guess Browne is not an Old Testament person.

Now Browne gets on to accidents and terrorist activity. It sure would be nice to know about these things, wouldn't it? Terrorist activity hey? So no doubt we can expect a mention of the recent attempted bombing of Times Square. Right? I mean, even an abridged version would warn people about that, wouldn't it?

Oh Jimmy, you are silly. Here's what Browne has to say:

I'm still worried about train travel and now buses as well.

And this in November 2009. Because I am quite sure there has never been any precedent anywhere before for accidents or terrorist attacks involving trains and buses. Like for instance July 2005. Or maybe March 2004. Or pick a year for a bus bombing in Israel. Pick a country and a year for a train accident. But hey, Browne has been saying this for three years (that means she started predicting this AFTER the London and Madrid attacks by the way) and it happens every year. Must be true then. Because I am quite sure that train wrecks and terrorist attacks on public transport are so hard to predict. I would certainly never guess that kind of thing - solid proof she is psychic.

The reason for all these train wrecks? Wobbly tracks apparently. Very serious problem. But never fear Europeans because Sylvia points out the train system is a lot safer in Europe.

Now here's where Sylvia's predictions get really uncanny, and remember this is written in November 2009.

There will be new x-ray equipment at most major airports that is very innovative.

Wow. I can't imagine where she heard about something like that in October 2009 at Manchester International Airport. I mean, it isn't like the TSA has been using backscatter machines at airports in the US since before April 2009 or anything.

Sylvia - it isn't a prediction if it has already fucking happened.

Maybe she doesn't mean these machines that were already in use all over the US the year before she predicts them being used. But no, she describes them as like the ones from 'Total Recall' - so it is these machines that have been around since at least 2006 that she is talking about. Idiot.

Wow, Sylvia thinks we're going to see something that might take a whole body image of you, some time in 2010. So, she's only 4 years behind with her predictions.

And there you have it. No volcano. No oil spill. No earthquake. Of course, I have no doubt that if the 2010 predictions came out for free we'd see these things included after the fact, but the little we do have of Browne's 2010 predictions are laughable or already shown to be wrong.

Psychic powers my arse.