The traditional conservative or 'right' wing political position is the less government the better. Government should stay out of people's lives as much as it possibly can, there should be minimal interference - there should be no "Big government." Another position that is taken for granted by political conservatives or the 'right' wing is a ban on gay marriage.
If you can't see the problem here then you are probably a 'right' wing nut.
It doesn't get much more big government than the government telling you who you can and can't marry. The last 'modern' government I can think of that deliberately made marriage laws a matter of state policy was Nazi Germany (I'm sure there are more modern and less emotive examples, I did say that's the one I can think of right now), you sure you want to take a lead from them?
It doesn't get much more intrusive than the government formally approving your choice of marriage partner, does it? Oh, apart from maybe telling you what you should do with your pregnancy.
Just exactly what kind of mental gymnastics do these fools have to go through to justify these two completely opposed positions and repeat them with a straight face and sincerity?
"I don't want the government interfering in people's lives. Well, unless they're gay of course. Or a woman. I absolutely don't want the government telling people how to live their lives. Unless they want to marry someone who has the same naughty bits as them, obviously. Then government should be all over their homo arses."
Fucking hypocrites, I doubt they even see a contradiction because they've never given it a moments thought.
The true delicious irony of this is that even as one of those damn pesky lefty liberal types I agree completly with the conservatives that government should stay out of peoples lives - but for me that includes who they want to marry as well - it is none of the governments business when consenting adults want to marry.
What conservatives want is not 'small government', it's their government. If you really think conservatives here in the USA are no fans of 'big government' you should try reading the Patriot Act sometime.